Erotic power exchange, bondage, spanking and discipline and other kinds of kinky play can be a fun and creative way to enhance your sexual relationships. It's important to know what you're doing and to develop the habits of safer play, especially when you are a beginner.

Here are some good guidelines for novice tops and bottoms who are new to the wonderful world of BDSM play.

1. Always designate some word or signal that ends the play, so that the submissive partner's limits are not genuinely being violated. The classic safe word for SM play is "Mercy." If one of the players says this word, the play is too heavy and should temporarily be stopped for negotiation. You can also use the "traffic light" code system, where "green" means "go", "yellow" means "slow down" and "red" means "stop". Negotiate a scene and discuss limits before playing.

2. If you penetrate the anus or vagina with any object, make sure that object is one that is meant for that purpose. Dildos are ideal for gentle insertion, but most household items are not. Do not insert anything in a cunt or ass that is rough or has sharp edges. If you accidentally perforate the lower intestine, you may get peritonitis, a potentially nasty disease. If you abrade the inside of the vagina, an uncomfortable and itchy infection may follow.

Make sure that you do not insert anything too far up inside. If you cannot easily grip it, there is the very real possibility that you will not easily be able to get it back out.

3. Practice safer sex, even if you're using a fake dick. If you use a dildo on more than one person, or on more than one orifice on the same person, use condoms and wash carefully with soap and water to avoid transmitting disease and bacteria. Use only water-soluble lubricants with condoms. If you practice oral sex, use a condom or dental dam.

4. Never leave anyone unattended in bondage. Bondage that cuts off the circulation, such as cock and ball bondage or nipple clamps, should not be left on for extended periods of time. Never use bondage that puts any pressure on the front of the neck.

5. Have a backup plan for emergency bondage release in case of earthquake, fire or sudden illness. Ambulance shears are not too expensive, and can literally be a lifesaver. If you must use locks and chains, make sure the keys are easily accessible and keep a flashlight in your toybag in case of power failure.

In particular, any gag or mouth restraint must be instantly removable in case of illness or airway obstruction - and made of a safe material that won't break apart and put the wearer at risk of asphyxiation.

6. Safe areas of the body to whip or spank are the upper back and the buttocks. Areas to whip with caution are the lower back, thighs, upper arms, genitals, chest and calves.

Areas to whip with great care or with a lighter instrument are the stomach, forearms, the bottoms of the feet and the palms. Areas to avoid whipping are the kidneys, the tailbone, the spine, the neck, any joint such as the knees or elbows, or any area such as the shins where bones are close to the surface of the skin.

Your risks are your own to choose, and more advanced players may safely go beyond some of these guidelines with their experience.

Have fun and play safe!