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 D/s and
BDSM mean different things to any two people in any
given relationship. Relationships can be
occaisional "play" or EPE (Erotic Power Exchange)
to a 24/7 committed TPE (Total Power Exchange)
relationship. The way people play can differ from
occaisional light bondage to extreme edge play.
There are no judgements to make, we can't make them
for you.
BUT we can ask you to play safe, and always follow
SSC (SAFE - free from hurt, injury, danger or risk.
SANE - free from mental derangement; Having sound
healthy mind. Having or showing reason, sound
judgment or good sense. CONSENSUAL - Formed or
existing merely by consent. Voluntary action
between two) practices.
In the D/s Lifestyle section we have posted several
essays that deal with safety issues. Here we are
providing links to more. Sometimes the link will
point to a whole site, and sometimes just an essay,
or at times an entire FAQ on a subject. We leave
this entirely up to you, and how far you wish to
read.
Only YOU are responsible for your own safety. It is
what you and your partner choose to do through
negotiation that ensures that safety. Safety
awareness is not meant to scare, but to educate. A
kind of refresher course in "Common Sense 101". The
first step often is to learn to pay attention to
those "red flags" that trigger our inner voices.
And once safety becomes second nature, we can all
get on to the more important things. Play Safe and
Enjoy!
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Special
note to survivors: Please make sure that "support" is
available to you before venturing to any abuse/support
websites!
Essays reprinted
on this site.
With permission we have reprinted several excellent essays
on safety within a BDSM relationship, from first meetings to an ongoing
24/7 relationship. This is what we feel you all must know. It is my
opinion that every one of these essays is a MUST read. It doesn't take
that long, and you may be helping someone by doing so.
Specific
Sections and Essays on a Site
As a general rule we would not normally point you to a specific
essay, but to the main page. This page is a bit different because we
don't want to waste time. However, we recommend you stay and visit the
entire site. Appologies to the webmasters.
S&M: A Players Handbook
- Tanonymous
We are proud to have this handbook on our website. You will find sections on
How To Meet A Partner,
A BDSM Glossary, How To Play Safely, and so
much more is covered in many sections.
Meeting
Someone From Online Safely
The ultimate goal for many online is to meet that perfect partner. This
gives
you a step by step checklist on what one needs to do when entering that
first
RL meeting.
Submissive
BDSM Play Partner Checklist
- by Tammad Ramillia
This test is an excellent way to match compatabilities. It is very important
to
know up front what you and your partner desire in a BDSM relationship,
and especially if this a "play partner".
Cold's
Story - True story by Cold as Ice1
A true story of a woman who started to explore her submissive side online
and to what depths this took her too. This is not meant to scare, only
to make
you aware of what could happen.
D/s
Safety - More on Safe Calls
What is a "safe call"? What is the importance of having one, two or
three? This
takes you through the steps, whether you are making one or you are the
call.
Websites
With Large Safety Sections
While all D/s and BDSM sites deal with safety issues, others go more
into depth. These are the ones we will point to first. In time more
will be added. It is also important to add that this section is for
the Dominant as well as the submissive. No matter how experienced you
are, you can never know enough. But that is the fun side of D/s and
BDSM, one is ALWAYS learning.
Submissive
Women Kvetch
- Jay Weisman
D/s
Help and Info Pack
Different
Loving Home Page
KAP
- Kink Aware Professionals
- National Coalition For Sexual Freedom
Know
the Facts/FAQS
Whether your interest is general or you have a specific question, it
is always best to check the FAQS (Frequently Asked Questions). FAQS
are generally put together from information gathered over time from
specific newsgroups. Chances are if you have a question it has been
answered in one of the FAQS.
The
Deviant's Dictionary - BDSM Terminology
FAQ
soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm
FAQ
Bullwhips
*Links
or essays to add are sent to: submission
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