The Beginners Guide to Dominance and Submission
There is more to D/s than just paddles and flails, ropes and cuffs. There are other "toys" that are used and are useful, especially if the parties agree that the play can become more intense. The following items and techniques are not recommended for beginners, but are included so that when and if you decide, you have the information at hand to ensure that the play continues to be safe and consensual.
The following items and techniques are more advanced, and have a greater
probability of severe or permanent damage. If you are unsure about how
to proceed, get more information from experienced D/s couples. The warnings
in the following sections are not to frighten you. The warnings are there
for your and your subs safety. Extreme caution should be exercised when
using these techniques and items.
Wax play is utilized by many couples for enhancing their play. Candle wax, dripped onto sensitive body areas, such as the nipples, chest, or groin can be intensely stimulating for couples who have a greater pain tolerance. The sensation of the hot wax, running down and hardening into a semi-soft shell can be very erotic. The heat from the wax also serves to intensify the sensitivity in and around the area if the wax is not too hot.
Very hot wax can cause first, second, or even third degree burns. Blisters
can form quickly, and skin damage can easily result. When using candles,
hold the candle high above the body part exposed to the melted wax. If
the heat sensation is not strong enough, bring the candle closer, but
only a little at a time. If you are not sure about how hot the wax is,
test it by letting some fall on a sensitive part of your body, such as
your wrist or inner arm. Take care not to burn yourself.
Clamps are devices that apply pressure to a body part. They can be used on nipples, the chest and outer genitalia. There are many styles of clamps, from plain clothespins to specialized genital clamps. Some clamps even have a tension adjuster to get the correct amount of pressure. Some Doms will apply the clamps to the desired area, and then add weight to pull down on the area, or attach the clamp to a pulley system to pull up or out on the clamped body part. The sensations can range from pleasure to mild discomfort to extreme pain, depending on the area that is clamped, the amount of pressure on the clamp itself, and if there is any weight applied to the clamp.
Clamps should be used with caution. Clamping any body part reduces the
blood flow to that area to a greater or lesser degree. Lack of blood can
kill tissue quickly. Also, clamps should not have sharp edges that can
catch skin or cut the sub. When using clamps and weight, extreme caution
should be taken as to avoid tearing skin or applying so much weight that
the clamp is torn from the body part.
Electrical stimulating devices use electricity directly applied to the skin. On most, the intensity of the applied electricity can be altered, from a low voltage to a fairly high amount. The sensations that come from these devices range from pleasant to very painful. The electricity goes into the skin and muscles, stimulating the muscles and nerves directly. The devices can be inserted into various body orifices, or applied to the outer skin or genitalia, depending on the shape of the device, and its intended use.
Electrical stimulators can be very expensive to purchase. Be sure to fully
inspect these particular devices before use. Frayed wires, loose plates,
or even corrosion on the device can render it useless or dangerous. Electrical
play can quickly become hazardous to the sub and the Dom. If the sub is
standing, a shock to the legs or groin can cause the sub to collapse almost
instantly. An inadvertent shock to the spine can be unpredictable, and
a shock across the heart can cause the heart to stop or beat erratically.
These devices should be researched thoroughly by the Dom and sub that
plan to use them during play. All safety information that comes with the
device should be read and understood totally. Do not use the device in
a manner that is not definitely spelled out in the instructions. Electrical
play is best left alone. It is very dangerous edge-type play, and
must be thoroughly researched before being embarked on.
Ice play can be a welcome addition to a relationship. Ice can be used on external body parts, external genitalia, or even internal genitalia if care is taken. Ice can quickly sensitize affected body parts, or numb them slightly. Ice can even be used to intensify an orgasm in either sex. With males, a thin piece of ice, inserted into the anus during ejaculation, can give the male a more intensified orgasm than normal. Ice rubbed on nipples will cause an almost instant stiffening, making clamp application easier in some situations.
Caution shall be observed. Ice play can cause frost-nip or in severe cases,
frostbite. Frost-nip is a temporary situation of numbness, pain, and diminished
blood flow in the affected area. It will go away with the application
of heat. Frostbite is a serious condition of actual tissue death. The
skin turns gray, and there is no blood flow. The skin will feel very waxy.
Frostbite must be attended to very quickly. It is do
ubtful that true frostbite
will be caused with ice play, but the Dom should always be watching the
sub and their reactions for any bad signs. Do not apply hot wax or hot
water to a frost-nipped or bitten area. Use the warmth of your hands or
underarms to re-warm the nipped area. Also, ice inserted into the anus
or vagina can cause internal cuts, which can severely injure or kill your
Body training uses specialized apparatus to 'train' a body part or area to look a certain way for an extended period of time. Corsets are used to train the waist and lower abdomen to make it smaller. Nipple training devices pull the nipple out from the breast to lengthen it. There are other devices specific to other body parts. The difference with these and other devices is that body training occurs over a long period. With corsets, the sub wears it for about 22 hours a day for a long time. The result of the training can be extremely visually pleasing.
There are extreme cautions to these procedures. Corsets accomplish
the 'wasp waist' look by physically moving internal organs up into the
rib cage. Other training devices apply pressure and tension to a specific
body part for extended periods. If used improperly, all body training
devices can cause severe pain and possible injury.
Piercing is a way of ornamenting the body in other places than the ear with jewelry. Pierced areas can include the nose, eyebrow, lip, and nipples. In females, piercing can include the clitoris, clitoral hood, inner and outer labia. In males, piercing can include the penis shaft, the glans, and the scrotum. Piercings can be temporary, where a thin sharp needle is passed through the skin, or permanent, where a sharp hollow needle actually carves out a portion of the skin, making a hole. The jewelry ranges from simple hoops to intricate jewelry. Chains, rope, and clamps can be attached to the jewelry itself to pull on the skin.
NOTE: Since an object is breaking the surface of the skin, profuse bleeding will normally occur. Also, due to the skin break and subsequent blood contact, infections can easily take hold. Blood poisoning, gangrene, and death can happen due to an improperly cared-for piercing. Because of the dangers involved, eroticized piercing should be avoided. All piercing implements and jewelry should be disinfected thoroughly before use, and the area being pierced should be cleaned with an anti-bacterial wash.